For past few days I have been preparing to write an article on redundancy of the institution of marriage in the era of Polyamory,live in relationships and infidelity and the peace of life outside the institution of marriage when a chance meeting with this person reversed my hypothesis---
This afternoon as I was getting into my car at the local patrakarpuram market an elderly man approached me. As he spoke to me I could not take my eyes off his hollow, fissured cheeks, his yellow broken teeth , a creased forehead - more a result of straining his eyes to see sans specs despite the failing eyesight and his shabby clothes. He looked old beyond his years. He drew my attention to the flat tyres of his bicycle and sought my financial help to remedy the situation.To make sure that I was not being conned by an impostor, I threw some questions at him that he fielded with ease- he informed he was a daily wager, came to the labour market from the suburb, about five km away, failed to get employment, that his cycle had broken down,could not walk 4 km back home,hadn't eaten and nobody helped him either. He was seeking 20 bucks to get his cycle mended so that he could return home. On further enquiry he informed he had four brothers who lived separately with their families, but he remained unmarried as his parents passed away when he was barely 20.Without a wife or children , he lived a lonely life with no retirement.
Though not totally taken in by his story and still trying to weigh him I handed him 40 bucks .His new found affluence brought a glint to his otherwise dull eyes.he thanked me profusely saying I had given him more than he needed.
The thought that someone could extract money by fooling me was preventing me from helping him generously. But one last glance at him and the look in his eyes broke down all barriers- I became ashamed of my skepticism and mistrust and finally dug deep into my bag, pulled out money that would be enough to cover his meals for a couple of days.
Now a greater dilemma hounds me- is marriage redundant or still alive and kicking -despite the onslaught of polygamy,polyamory, live-in relationships, virtual relationships? It has been used and abused and exploited as a means of social and economic security. It has been deployed as a ladder to climb up the social and economic class and not to forget its utilization as a veneer, a tool of concealment of ones different sexual orientation. Relationships are dead- long live the institution of marriage!
This afternoon as I was getting into my car at the local patrakarpuram market an elderly man approached me. As he spoke to me I could not take my eyes off his hollow, fissured cheeks, his yellow broken teeth , a creased forehead - more a result of straining his eyes to see sans specs despite the failing eyesight and his shabby clothes. He looked old beyond his years. He drew my attention to the flat tyres of his bicycle and sought my financial help to remedy the situation.To make sure that I was not being conned by an impostor, I threw some questions at him that he fielded with ease- he informed he was a daily wager, came to the labour market from the suburb, about five km away, failed to get employment, that his cycle had broken down,could not walk 4 km back home,hadn't eaten and nobody helped him either. He was seeking 20 bucks to get his cycle mended so that he could return home. On further enquiry he informed he had four brothers who lived separately with their families, but he remained unmarried as his parents passed away when he was barely 20.Without a wife or children , he lived a lonely life with no retirement.
Though not totally taken in by his story and still trying to weigh him I handed him 40 bucks .His new found affluence brought a glint to his otherwise dull eyes.he thanked me profusely saying I had given him more than he needed.
The thought that someone could extract money by fooling me was preventing me from helping him generously. But one last glance at him and the look in his eyes broke down all barriers- I became ashamed of my skepticism and mistrust and finally dug deep into my bag, pulled out money that would be enough to cover his meals for a couple of days.
Now a greater dilemma hounds me- is marriage redundant or still alive and kicking -despite the onslaught of polygamy,polyamory, live-in relationships, virtual relationships? It has been used and abused and exploited as a means of social and economic security. It has been deployed as a ladder to climb up the social and economic class and not to forget its utilization as a veneer, a tool of concealment of ones different sexual orientation. Relationships are dead- long live the institution of marriage!
P.S. But at least one thing has been put into perspective - happiness is not contingent on marrying or not marrying. Marriage is merely a CONTRACT the terms of which are not equally poised and are violated more often than one knows. If you look upon marriage as an institution that At least guarantees Companionship, then even there it has failed.
Pic credit internet
So beautiful thinking at the end of the story. Marriage is an institution of mutual love, trust, faith and belief. I wonder if such things are being believed by the youth today. Marriage may not be a condition for happiness, but a successful married life make things happier. So beautiful story.
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ReplyDeleteWell, you have answered your question, have you not?
ReplyDeleteAs a slightly ignoble social security mechanism (or, as you have pointed out, way more brazen things than that),
good old fashioned marriage worked somewhat better than stuff hey do these days.
Well wishers (I suppose they are)
often ask "but who wll look after you in your old age?" and I do get the point.
I just cannot stoop to marrying FOR THAT PURPOSE.
For all else, .... why don't you go ahead with the article you were "preparing to write'?
I'll look forward to it.
Well, you have answered your own question, have you not?
ReplyDeleteAs a slightly ignoble social security mechanism (or, as you have pointed out, way more brazen things than that),
good old fashioned marriage worked somewhat better than stuff they do these days.
Well wishers (I suppose they are)
often ask "but who will look after you in your old age?"
and I do get the point.
I just cannot stoop to marrying FOR THAT PURPOSE.
For all else, .... why don't you go ahead with the article you were "preparing to write'?
I'll look forward to it.